The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Pt. 2) (JICC)
Weekly Reading
Monday: Leviticus 21
Tuesday: Leviticus 22, John 6
Wednesday: Leviticus 23
Thursday: John 7
Friday: Leviticus 24
Saturday: Psalm 60-63
Sunday: 1 Chronicles 28-29, 2 Chronicles 1-9
Tuesday: Leviticus 22, John 6
Wednesday: Leviticus 23
Thursday: John 7
Friday: Leviticus 24
Saturday: Psalm 60-63
Sunday: 1 Chronicles 28-29, 2 Chronicles 1-9
Sermon Notes
Key Passage: Matthew 18:21-35
Romans 12:17-21
Leviticus 19:17-18
Romans 12:9-12, 17-21
1 Corinthians 15:54-58
Steps of forgiveness we talked about in Part 1:
*Fundamental Attribution Error - a common psychological bias where people tend to overemphasize personal traits and underestimate situational factors when explaining someone else’s behavior.
Misunderstandings of Forgiveness - What it is NOT:
Jesus said that his second greatest commandment was to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Where did that passage come from? Leviticus 19:17-18
"You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD."
Two Ditches to avoid:
Rev. Anthony B. Thompson
"Two days after the Emanuel tragedy, Dylann Roof [the killer] had a bond hearing. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t have Dylann Roof on my mind. All I could think of was, did Myra suffer? Why wasn’t I there for her?
I did not want to go to that bond hearing, but my children wanted to go, and they would not go unless I did. So I went for them. I told them “Keep your mouths closed. Don’t say anything.” When we got there I sat with my head down. I wanted it to be over with so I could go back home.
Then God intervened. He whispered in my ear, “I have something to say.”
Without a shadow of doubt I knew that it was the voice of God. It was the same whispering voice I heard at the age of seven that told me I’d be a preacher. So I got up immediately and listened to what God had to say. He said to Dylann, “Son, I forgive you and my family forgives you. But we would like you to take this opportunity to repent! Repent and confess, and give your life to the One who matters the most: Christ! So that he can change it and change your ways. And no matter what happens to you, you will be okay. Do that, and you will be better off than you are right now.”
After I did that, I experienced God’s love! I experienced peace! For the first time, I knew and understood what it meant and felt like to experience the “…peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). God’s love freed my heart, soul, and body of the burden of bitterness and anger. God healed me from the inside out. He took away all my burdens and granted me his peace!"
Timothy Keller, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? (pp. 31-32)
"The new culture is like the older honor cultures but with a new twist that borrows from the therapeutic. Modern culture teaches us that our primary concern is to demand respect and affirmation of our own identity. In this it mirrors the desire for respect and honor that drove pagan cultures centuries ago. People today are encouraged to respond with outrage to even the slightest offense, as was true in the older societies. However, the difference today is this: Modern therapy sees individuals as being oppressed and controlled by society's expectations, roles, and structures. Greater honor and moral virtue are assigned to people the more they have been victimized and subjugated by society or others in power. The further down the existing social ladder one is, the greater honor is possible. …[What this creates] is a society of constant good-versus-evil conflict over the smallest issues as people compete for status as victims or as defenders of victims. It atrophies our ability to lovingly overlook slights (1 Peter 4:8, “love covers a multitude of sins”). But most of all it sweeps away the very concept of forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is seen now as radically unjust and impractical, as short-circuiting the ability of victims to gain honor and virtue as others rise to defend them. And so this culture is littered with enormous numbers of broken and now irreparable relationships."
Rachael Denhollander, at the sentencing of Larry Nassar
"I pray that you experience the soul-crushing weight of guilt so that you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me, though I extend that to you as well."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
"He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power of love … We can never say, I will forgive you, but I won’t have anything further to do with you.’ Forgiveness means reconciliations, and coming together again."
Timothy Keller, Forgive
"Don’t let yourself be twisted. Take in what Jesus Christ has done, put your little story about what people have done to you into the big story of what he did for you, and you’ll have all the power you need to grant forgiveness."
Romans 12:17-21
Leviticus 19:17-18
Romans 12:9-12, 17-21
1 Corinthians 15:54-58
Steps of forgiveness we talked about in Part 1:
- Identify with the wrongdoer
*Fundamental Attribution Error - a common psychological bias where people tend to overemphasize personal traits and underestimate situational factors when explaining someone else’s behavior.
- Name the debt (sin)
- Absorb the debt (think long-suffering)
- Will for the good of the person who wronged you
Misunderstandings of Forgiveness - What it is NOT:
- Excusing it - meaning that there is no debt to begin with. No reason for forgiveness.
- Denying it (whitewashing) - we don’t live in denial of sin and its effects. We state it fully and completely. The price for the debt cannot be paid unless it is understood.
- Thinking of it as a moment and not a process - While there may be a moment when you initially release the wrongdoer, you have to continue to address the effects of their sin. (helpful metaphor “root of bitterness” from Hebrews 12:15)
- Conflating forgiveness and reconciliation - You can forgive someone but not be able to reconcile with them because they remain unrepentant.
- Forgiveness is first vertical (I know that I have been forgiven by God.)
- Then inward (I am releasing them of the debt they owe and my desire to get even. Now justice can be sought within the right framework.)
- Then outward (I am willing for their good. But reconciliation is only possible through the wrongdoers repentance.)
- Granting immediate trust to the wrongdoer - you can release them of their debt and still not trust them. Regaining trust is often proportionate to the nature of the wrong and the rebuilding of trust requires time.
- Abandoning Justice - forgiveness is not the opposite of justice, nor is it contrary to justice. It is what precedes it.
Jesus said that his second greatest commandment was to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Where did that passage come from? Leviticus 19:17-18
"You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD."
Two Ditches to avoid:
- In the name of forgiveness, we don’t address sin or the consequences of sin
- Following a therapeutic culture, we make forgiveness about the person who was wronged (we put the individual at the center rather than God)
Rev. Anthony B. Thompson
"Two days after the Emanuel tragedy, Dylann Roof [the killer] had a bond hearing. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t have Dylann Roof on my mind. All I could think of was, did Myra suffer? Why wasn’t I there for her?
I did not want to go to that bond hearing, but my children wanted to go, and they would not go unless I did. So I went for them. I told them “Keep your mouths closed. Don’t say anything.” When we got there I sat with my head down. I wanted it to be over with so I could go back home.
Then God intervened. He whispered in my ear, “I have something to say.”
Without a shadow of doubt I knew that it was the voice of God. It was the same whispering voice I heard at the age of seven that told me I’d be a preacher. So I got up immediately and listened to what God had to say. He said to Dylann, “Son, I forgive you and my family forgives you. But we would like you to take this opportunity to repent! Repent and confess, and give your life to the One who matters the most: Christ! So that he can change it and change your ways. And no matter what happens to you, you will be okay. Do that, and you will be better off than you are right now.”
After I did that, I experienced God’s love! I experienced peace! For the first time, I knew and understood what it meant and felt like to experience the “…peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). God’s love freed my heart, soul, and body of the burden of bitterness and anger. God healed me from the inside out. He took away all my burdens and granted me his peace!"
Timothy Keller, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? (pp. 31-32)
"The new culture is like the older honor cultures but with a new twist that borrows from the therapeutic. Modern culture teaches us that our primary concern is to demand respect and affirmation of our own identity. In this it mirrors the desire for respect and honor that drove pagan cultures centuries ago. People today are encouraged to respond with outrage to even the slightest offense, as was true in the older societies. However, the difference today is this: Modern therapy sees individuals as being oppressed and controlled by society's expectations, roles, and structures. Greater honor and moral virtue are assigned to people the more they have been victimized and subjugated by society or others in power. The further down the existing social ladder one is, the greater honor is possible. …[What this creates] is a society of constant good-versus-evil conflict over the smallest issues as people compete for status as victims or as defenders of victims. It atrophies our ability to lovingly overlook slights (1 Peter 4:8, “love covers a multitude of sins”). But most of all it sweeps away the very concept of forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is seen now as radically unjust and impractical, as short-circuiting the ability of victims to gain honor and virtue as others rise to defend them. And so this culture is littered with enormous numbers of broken and now irreparable relationships."
Rachael Denhollander, at the sentencing of Larry Nassar
"I pray that you experience the soul-crushing weight of guilt so that you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me, though I extend that to you as well."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
"He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power of love … We can never say, I will forgive you, but I won’t have anything further to do with you.’ Forgiveness means reconciliations, and coming together again."
Timothy Keller, Forgive
"Don’t let yourself be twisted. Take in what Jesus Christ has done, put your little story about what people have done to you into the big story of what he did for you, and you’ll have all the power you need to grant forgiveness."
Discussion Questions
3DQ - 3 discipleship questions to ask each other: What is God saying to you? What are you going to do about it? How can I help?
In general, it’s helpful to keep in mind that so many of the “what about this scenario?” questions can be answered by walking vulnerably with a group of people in the community. This involves sharing openly and giving an honest assessment of yourself and your situation. This also involves seeking counsel from leaders. (One of the main questions that came up after Part 1 of this message was what to do in issues of abuse and personal safety. Church leadership regularly partners with mental health professionals in issues of potential abuse because counselors see these issues regularly and know the proper questions to ask. The starting place is to bring the offense into the light.)
In general, it’s helpful to keep in mind that so many of the “what about this scenario?” questions can be answered by walking vulnerably with a group of people in the community. This involves sharing openly and giving an honest assessment of yourself and your situation. This also involves seeking counsel from leaders. (One of the main questions that came up after Part 1 of this message was what to do in issues of abuse and personal safety. Church leadership regularly partners with mental health professionals in issues of potential abuse because counselors see these issues regularly and know the proper questions to ask. The starting place is to bring the offense into the light.)
- Review Leviticus 19:17-18 phrase by phrase. How does it give clarity to the previous mentions of what forgiveness is NOT? How does it call us to different actions than what we often see?
- Read all of Romans 12 out loud. Review the verses of Romans 12: 17-19. Which command did you most need to hear? What would a step of obedience look like in your situation? How can the group support you in this?
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